So something that I forgot to mention was when I was in first grade, my whole family decided to take a trip to Florida. Now this was probably the worst trip of my entire life! Number one: I had to ride on an airplane. Now your probably thinking what's the big deal about that? Well it was a huge deal! You would think, me being a small immature child with no idea what the heck Aeronautics were. Well I got on that airplane, and I was super scared at first. I mean, OPEN YOUR EYES! Your in mid-air, no ropes or chains holding you up, inside of this giant machine that is freakin floating! I still don't understand how that works, and I don't really want to understand that. But anyways I had heard about terrorists getting on airplanes and killing people. And for some reason I was super scared. But then after a while, I realized that people went on airplanes everyday, and something bad hardly ever happened. Now I still don't understand how exactly I came to that conclusion, because now I wouldn't be able to calm myself that easily when I'm scared, which I can't believe I'm actually admitting that. But that was my first, (and my only) experience on an airplane. So yes, we were going to Florida. Now we were renting a beach house down there and when we arrived, we walked inside to a giant indoor pool. Man, did I think that was awesome! In fact, I thought it was so awesome, that I had to give it a try, right away. So I jumped in, and guess what happened!? I started to drown! But that's when my grandfather jumped into the water and rescued me. This was a major turning point in my life. This little event has affected the rest of my life. My parents have told me that because I fell in that water, and was so terrified, that is the reason for my anxiety problems that followed that, and even today. Whenever I would loose my balloon in the sky, I would scream for bloody murder. Same went with motorcycles and fireworks. Now of course I have grown out of those three things, but even now there are some things that I simply haven't gotten over. Take thunderstorms, for instance. You do not want to be around while there is a storm. I can't believe I'm confessing that I still break down into tears when there is a tornado. I don't know why, but I just have always had this fear deep down inside. I don't think I'm necessarily scared of dying, but more of the grief of loosing a family member. I really can't even begin to fathom my life without my family. So I think that is what my fear of storms stems from. Now I'll go ahead and list some of my other fears, some quite natural ones, which include rollercoasters, airplanes (still!) and the dark. I absolutely cannot stand the dark! I have three nightlights in my bedroom, and half the time I sleep with a light on. I don't know what it is, I just can't stand being in the dark by myself. I wasn't even able to have my own bedroom till I was thirteen! I just don't like being by myself. I understand that this doesn't relate to the title of this blog, but it does relate to what I decided to talk about in the first place. So your gonna have to accept that, lol.
So on this Florida trip, I ended up getting the stomach flu. Yes, I do believe we all understand the brutality of the stomach flu and what comes with it. And I remember, for the whole time we were there, I didn't touch that ocean water. I believe it was from my little scare from the pool. Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of water anymore, but I was for the first several years of my life.
Now lets go to third and fourth grades. I honestly don't remember much at all about these years. Their just considered "there" years, if you know what I mean. They don't mean anything, except I was 2 years older than I was in second grade. All I remember is the little things, like joining a soccer team and getting my first award. And joining a homeschool group and meeting new friends. Then teaching myself to ride a bike without training wheels. Doing my first makeover with my mom's makeup. Getting my own camera and going around taking stupid pictures. Being in a play at my church (I was Mary!), getting my first poem published in a public magazine, and learning to do backflips on the trampoline, and going to my first sleepovers. It's just the little things like that that I remember the most. I'll have some pictures of me up when I was around this age soon. But I don't have them right now :/ So I really need to go. And by the way, I've been writing this blog for days and days, but the words just haven't been coming. I think it's just because my brain is so clogged with school and drama. I'm sorry about that. Let me know if there is something specific that you want me to write a blog on. TTYL
Hannah xoxo
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